written 1/21/11 but oh so relevant today
Damn this is a steep climb, I can’t even see where the peak of this learning curve is. There is a lot of ground to cover, and I know I’ve passed that clump of trees before.
I’m lost, hands up, I admit it, I have no idea what I’m looking for and my proverbial legs are tired.
Better, faster, stronger… I’d like to be thinner too. I’d like it to happen now. I keep passing this clump of trees thinking it’s a shortcut to the top.
“There are no shortcuts” says a booming voice.
“No dear, this is Reality.”
“Oh… ok. This is a little awkward. Have you been avoiding me?”
“Have you been avoiding me?”
I have no patience to reconcile myself with Reality so I keep walking. I don’t want to lose face, but then I pass the clump of trees again. I know I’m walking in a circle, but at least now I recognize where I am.
“This is ridiculous,” I say to myself “I have no idea which direction to go in! How do I pick a direction if I don’t know where I’m going? I don’t even know where I want to go, I just know I don’t want to be here.”
“Just go forward.” said the booming voice.
“Reality?” I ask. I look around me, surely I should be able to see it.
“Just checking… so… which way is forward?”
“Well, it’s any direction leading away from where you are now, obviously.”
“Uh, no… I could go backwards.”
“If you go backwards, you’ll find you recognize where you are, and then you can switch direction and move forwards.”
“But then I’ll end up where I am now!”
“But at least you’ll know which direction to go in this time.”
Reality – 1, Lili – 0.