To the Button-Pusher

Dear Button-Pusher,

Ever since we were little, you’ve known how to handle me. Whether it was getting me so angry I snapped in front of Mom and got in trouble, or convincing me every time we moved that I actually wanted the small dark room with no closets. You were the puppet master and I dangled on the end of your strings until I learned how to pull back and get you to move with me… or are you just cutting me some slack?

In any case, you still get on my nerves. It’s not just that you’re usually right about everything (which I find incredibly annoying) but you can be too critical, too direct, and unforgiving in your expectations. You still know what to say to get a reaction out of me, and I sometimes wonder whether you do it on purpose, just to exercise that big sister right.

When we sat in yoga today, cross-legged and sweating from our run before class, our instructor talked about button pushers being our best teachers. He said that the people and things that get our backs up make us aware of our weaknesses and limitations. Instead of pushing them away, we should listen and learn from them. Apparently that goes for sarcastic comments as well as yoga positions. I tried to catch your eye as he spoke. I was remembering our heated exchange of words the night before and how even though I had upset you, after you pointed out all my flaws you sat on the couch and hugged me until I felt better. Those lessons are never easy, but I feel lucky to have you as my teacher, my sister, and my friend.

Love Lili


2 thoughts on “To the Button-Pusher

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s